All of us, at one point or another in our lives, experience times when we feel that nothing is going right, everything is going wrong, and we get that doomed feeling that it will stay that way forever. We’ve all experienced challenge overcoming hopelessness. Sometimes we find our way out in a short time and sometimes it catches a hold of us.
When we find ourselves in these dark abysses of hopelessness we have two options, either get cozy and stay in there until someone happens to pass by or something unexpected happens to throw us rope to climb out with OR we can immediately get a hold of our mindset and tell our brains that staying stuck is NOT, NO WAY, NOT NOW an option.
We can challenge our thoughts by asking ourselves,
“It’s your choice, how long would you like to stay in there?”
“What are you missing out on by staying in there?”
“What ropes have been thrown to you already?”
“What would immediately get better if you grabbed on?
“What escape routes can you MacGyver?”
“When you fell into it in the past, you obviously got out because you fell back in, so what did you do?”
One of the most helpful strategies to use when we begin to fall into a spiral of hopelessness and negative thinking is to take some time to truly pause, take some slow deep breaths, and calm ourselves so that our brain can function more optimally, and more importantly, from a calm and grounded state. Do this often and as many times as needed until you see your rope waiting for you to take a hold. By doing this you stop your brain from being flooded and you are allowing it to help you instead of allowing it to hinder your attempts to find your escape route (problem solve the stressor).
This calming of emotions and clarity of mind will not only help you get out of the current abyss, but it will also help you make notes in your tactical logbook of strategies you can use in the future if you find yourself there again.
When life gives you lemons, DO make lemonade, but make it gourmet. Think of all the various ingredients that can make it taste so much better, add them in, and give it a try. Still not quite to your liking? Add a bit more of what tastes good to you. Ask some friends or family for ingredient suggestions. Try it again. Eventually you will find the recipe that is just right for you. Write it down and have those ingredients ready in your kitchen so that you can make your fancy lemonade whenever you need it.
Every time you are tempted to react in the same old way, ask if you want to be a prisoner of the past or a pioneer of the future. – DEEPAK CHOPRA
